Sunday, December 8, 2013


The scary bouncer with the emotional range of a terminator Every strip club has a bouncer. They need them. Strip clubs are places where men give themselves permission to behave like idiots, pig-men. But still, every strip club has  bouncers who don't care if you're a nice guy who just wants to show his friend a good time for his bachelor party. These bouncers are cold-blooded  psychopaths who probably killed for the mob or the government or both. Nothing starts an evening off better than goose flesh and chills running up the spine as you pass under the withering stares of one of these pain merchants.

The cheesy DJ who sounds like an STD with a moustache Every strip club has some guy in a booth who announces each stripper and then spins the worst techno dance music ever recorded. He sounds like the shock jock on a radio "Morning Zoo" in hell. You just know that he has sexually harassed every woman he works with and spends his free nights home, alone, pouring booze down the bottomless hole that is his soul.  

Outrageously over-priced beer and cocktails

How much for a beer? EIGHT BUCKS! That is ridiculous! I'll have one, and six more just like it...

Strip clubs are dumb because they attract the dumbest members of our city:desperate men.
Most men are willfully ignorant when they visit a shake shack. If you're going to a strip club, you're going so you can literally throw all your money at a total fantasy. If you accept that it's an epic ripoff not only for guys but also for the dancers, and go just to oogle boobies, then more power to you. The strippers treat you great as long as you shell out $20. for a lapdance that lasts for one song, while being watched on surveillance tape.


We have found, and most guys agree, when having a party, use outcall strippers.   By using Wild Thingz, you can save money, party with your own friends in a relaxed, more intimate setting, with you kind of music. Lapdances are free, and are offered to all the guests, wild party games, and a real hot girl on girl show.